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首页 > 邪恶漫画 - 曲湿湿:年度最耐看帖子:你有啥事瞒住家人?看着看着就哭了

曲湿湿:年度最耐看帖子:你有啥事瞒住家人?看着看着就哭了

最近,有一张来自某剧的对白图在社交网络上刷了屏。

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大概意思是,即使是“恩重如山”的父母一辈,也应该适时尊重子女的个人隐私,每个人也可以有一些秘密。

确实,随着人慢慢长大,跟家人,特别是父母一辈的沟通,也不再像是小时候那样无所不谈了,越来越少的沟通时间还有天然的代沟,让两代人因为种种原因,都会或多或少产生一些隔阂。

“隐瞒”这个词的定义,在这里我们只谈一种情况:那些你个人觉得应该告诉家人的事,但你没有如实告知的行为。

那些比如你打死了一只蚊子那种事,你没告诉家人的情况,并不属于“隐瞒”。

在家人面前,有事瞒着他们,当中的原因真的有很多:

也许是怕他们担心,也许是怕他们失望,也许是怕他们对你的秘密指手划脚,也许是事情“说来话长”难以解释,也许。。。可能就是纯粹的不想说出来。

那么,这么多年来,你有什么事瞒着家人的呢?

近日,某个以年轻人为主的论坛,出现了一个火爆了持续一个多月的帖子,讲的就是“你有什么事瞒了家人?”这个讨论帖,可以说是受到了“万人空巷”般的点击与关注。

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很多人都在帖子里,说出了自己保存在心底多年,从未向家人说过的话。

本来以为大多数人瞒着家人的事,都是一些比如“剁手”一时爽了,钱花多了的事:

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这个爱妻的哥们可以说是很优秀了,点赞!

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抽烟居然也是瞒着家人的事当中的大头,说起来天天身上烟味这么重,怎样才能瞒着?

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大保健的也有不少。。。

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哥们你这是差点出事的节奏。。。没事还是别乱去不正经的地方了。

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瞒着家养宠物

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不想加入组织

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一不小心拿到了国外绿卡,移民成功,却不想告诉家人

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这个是什么论坛,很好奇怪,有留言的说说吗?

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这个,真是中年人的痛!

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也许,没有无缘无故的爱,也没有无缘无故的恨。

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这究竟是茅坑的错还是。。。

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这。。。你老爸得多冤!比苍天还大的冤情!

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在各种吐槽当中,除了有日常的琐碎小事,也有恋爱取向、背叛出轨、事业起跌、疾病苦厄。。。真是包罗万有。。。活像一部生动的人生百态记事本。

看完了我真的深深感受到:家家有本难念的经,同样的是:家家也有一本不能念出来的经。

(本帖一次看不完的建议转发收藏)

01

“不要跟家里人说真心话,否则每天都是大冒险”

不知道有多少人能想象得到,这个帖子里曝光最多,隐瞒得家人最多,最有倾向隐瞒家人的事,竟然是:失业

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瞒着家人“失业”,是一件最具有技术含量的事,怎样假装上班下班,怎样假装发工资。。。都是难点。

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装忙,装上班装开会,反正就是一张纸包着一团火。

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创业失败往往比失业来得严重,欠债累累让很多人面对家人不知道如何开口。

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杠得住,还够钱花,一切安好——应付家人三连。

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在很多人瞒着家人的事当中,我们也能窥见,在社会繁华的表象下,也许有很多让人心酸的经历。

http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzAwNTgxMDA0Mw%3D%3D&mid=2651385260&idx=1&sn=1a1a93ac5469bd7bc77c4da1779c6701#wechat_redirect

即使是依着父母安排的路去走,心中也会有深深的不忿,但这些,不足为外人道。

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最怕的是,谎言从上大学那一刻就开始背负着,直到工作,可能直到人生的尽头。

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02

“我心里的秘密,是你给的甜蜜”

另一个瞒着家人的比较多的事,就是感情事。但这个也是比较好理解,相对于工作事业,感情更偏向私人,更让人不想向家人交待。

在走出柜子前,柜子里的事,往往是最不足为外人道。

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情变、出轨的事,比起同性恋的柜子,还要深。

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有时我也不太懂,究竟父母心中希望孩子是个情圣,还是个情痴?

有人因为找不到对象而瞒着父母,有人因为找太多“对象”而瞒父母。。。

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03

也许,我不想再嘲笑韩剧的套路了

记得当年看《蓝色生死恋》,各种主角患绝症后的套路,那时哭得死去活来。

当时总觉得生个病为什么要瞒着人?长大后才明白,韩剧演的是戏剧,但当中所透露出生命的无奈,是实打实的。

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在隐瞒身体受伤事件中的第一位,竟然是车祸。

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心理病症也是一个大头,还记得之前一个新闻说中国有3成还是5成人有精神类疾病,我还是不信的,现在觉得有点道理。

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绝症,大病,真的可以摧毁一个家庭,所以有的人选择了一个人默默承受。

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04

花光了一生的勇气,只为对你坦白一次

看了这么多人的分享,可以说是笑中有泪地看完的,特别是好多经历,也特别有共鸣。

进一步去分析,我很好奇:为什么“向家人坦白”是这么一件困难的事?

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记得以前有一个新闻,有个男人嫖娼被抓了,哀求警察说千万不能告诉他老婆,不知道警察蜀黍有没有“如此所愿”保守秘密,但网友也纷纷表示:这老婆比大牢还可怕。

这是一种真实的体验:有些事情,我们向朋友开口会更容易,但面向家人时,我们彷佛“哑巴”上身了。

最近看了一部日本电影《小偷家族》,里面讲了一段有关“无血缘家庭”的社会实验。

当中有一幕让人印象深刻,说其实家人之间的真正核心纽带并不一定是血缘,而是羁绊。

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“羁绊”这个词可以说是现代日本文学里十分常用的说法,反而中国人未必会明白当中的含义。

其实直白地说,家人之间的羁绊的意思就是:家人对你,你对家人,都有着一种超出普通人的“期望”,无论多大多小,总有一些期望。

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比如父母想让子女出人头地,或者是平平淡淡找份稳定工作结婚生子,这都是一种“期望”。

而当子女跟这些期望有出入时,我们就很难向家人坦白了,因为我们害怕辜负了他们的期望。

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这种期待与辜负的牵扯,就是羁绊。

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所以总听人说:“开不了口的爱,才是最真实的。”以前年轻时不明白,但长大了越来越觉得所言非虚。

当然在这里我们并不是鼓励大家欺瞒家人,只是说我们面对家人的不坦白时,可以多一分理解,少一分责备。

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坦白的爱当然是最好的,但爱,却不一定都建立在坦白之上,对吧?

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继续关注曲湿湿,你那些敢想不敢问的“两性”疑惑,都将得到解答。你闻所未闻的小知识,都能学到!

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